Tag Archives: sherylsandberg

Confluence

While working on homework last night, I became very distracted by my younger sister and mom arguing upstairs. As I sat on my laptop clicking through emails and writing to-do lists on my legal pad, I had to use every fiber in my being not to run upstairs and shut them up. I did not even know what their disagreement was over, but I did not like the way that my sister was yelling and treating our mom, and I did not like that my mom was taking it. I love the convenience of living at home, but sometimes it can be really stressful. I have a tendency to own the feelings and actions of my mom and sister, and that gets me into trouble. This time, I had to bear it the best that I could.

I quickly texted my life coach, Jen, about what was going on, and waited for a reply.  I sent her three long paragraphs detailing the crazy  family drama, and she replied an hour later stating, “Ignore it.” Well, that was what I had done…it was all that I could do to be somewhat sensible, but inside I was fuming. I replied to her text with a “Thanks…”, which could have been interpreted numerous ways. By this point I was reading a textbook in bed, and I let my phone drop into the mass of blankets and pillows around me hoping that it would be lost forever. I felt hurt. I felt like she didn’t care, but more than anything I was confused. My expectations to get a warm and fuzzy message to simply affirm my beliefs was not received, and I felt let down. I went back to my book and let the thoughts fade away with every passing tick-tock on my wall clock. I strongly dislike that helpless feeling I get in my relationships when I feel myself forming resentments.

Later that night, I talked to someone about my mom and sister, and I decided to bring up my frustration with Jen and I’s relationship. It did not occur to me that I was not helpless and there was something that I needed to do: communicate my frustrations. What a novel idea!  I just expected her to understand me and how I felt without giving her any insight or feedback on my personal experience. I rushed home and sent her a strong, heartfelt message. It was nerve wracking, but it had to be done. She replied back with compassion, kindness, and understanding. My stomach knot released, and my heart lightened. All of the build up began to escape with my out breaths. We made plans to get together at the end of the week to catch up.

iphone

I always love experiencing points of confluence in my life between separate entities. As I previously mentioned, I am reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, COO at Facebook. Before bed and after telling Jen goodnight, I read the chapter “Seek and Speak Your Truth.” Having mentors, bosses, friends, and family teaches us the most important thing in relationships is good communication. When I put my feelings out on the table, as hard is that may be, problems get solved. Too often, we stifle these gut feelings, and things worsen quickly. Part of being mindful is getting in touch with not only my mind, but also my physical sensations. I believe that many of my emotional qualities manifest into my physical being, so doing body scans and being aware of my own body allows me to grow and improve. It is painful at times, and I have fears that people will not like me or my feelings are unimportant, but I am finally seeing how untrue that is.

Accepted

Last Friday, I met with Jean, the Global Accounts Director with  the branding agency I am  going to start interning with next week. We met at a local coffeehouse and cafe right around the corner from the office to discuss my role with the organization and also to discuss a recent event we worked on together. I sipped a lavender honey latte, listened intently to her speak and took notes in my leather book. The windows were foggy, and the cozy arrangement of tables and chairs lent us to hear wisps of our neighbors conversations. It was an awfully cold January day, and she wore a fur lined jacket wrapped around her neck while I had my black infinity scarf slipped around mine. We shared our fears, excitement and dreams. It is moments like this that I want to chart.

This was the third time that we have met one-on-one, and I have begun to see her as a natural mentor in my life. I am very attracted to her in the most professional sense. She has told me and others we work with that she is very impressed with my capacity to deliver great work and my level of confidence and poise. In her, I see a very hard working, loyal, beautiful and level-minded individual that I can identify with and look up to for advice and guidance. I have been reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In recently, and she has an entire chapter that talks about mentorship. Reading that chapter has really helped me understand Jean and I’s relationship. I know that she wants to see me succeed and she wants to help me along the way. That is empowering.

Yesterday, she sent me an email and called me to invite me to start this internship next week. I am so excited to jump in to this new environment and to discover how to make brands more human. I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity come my way so naturally and to feel that the universe is guiding me where I need to go. At my young age, finding a position that has no dress code and uses modern organizational theories that are only read about at swanky bookstores truly feels like a dream. I am finally understanding that I cannot force my life to be anything other than what it is. I have always been a planner, but I am now  letting that way of thinking go (to a realistic extent). I still believe that it is good to stay organized, have concrete ideas, and to make preparations (think 18mo plan), but I am now focusing on being mindful and present. The journey needs to be enjoyed just as much as -if not more than- the end.

I hope to open this blog up to the intimacies and generalities of my life as a young female professional. I want to offer experience, strength and hope to others who may be looking for their fit in the world or searching for their true passions. I am part of the group of recent undergraduates that did not become what I wanted to be when I was 18 years old, and I have taken a path less travelled to get to where I am today. I will be getting a liberal arts degree, but I am striving to be as fearless as possible.